


Somewhere to Begin

by dizzy



Series: Kansas [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-19
Updated: 2010-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 04:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows "It's Often Said that Life is Strange"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere to Begin

"Momma, I need to come home for a while," Cam says.

He's only been on base for a couple of hours, long enough for a medical exam and a shower, a brief reprieve before the mission debriefing. The idea came to him in the shower. He'll get clearance after. This part is more important.

He doesn't think Landry will deny him, anyway.

"Cameron? What's wrong?" Her mom-voice is at full force, worry wrapping him up in childhood familiarity and warmth. She's a good woman, sweet and soft spoken, but she's got a backbone of steel when she needs it. She'll be strong enough to handle this. She's his mother - making things better is what she does. He's got faith in that when he has faith in little else.

"I'm fine, it's not me, but - Vala." Cam can't think of what to say, of how to say it. His mother is willing to wait. "Some stuff happened and she's had a rough couple of weeks."

"Bring her home, Cameron," his mother says, her soft voice stating more than suggesting. "We'll give her some pie and everything will be better."

*

She sleeps most of the flight.

It's probably a good thing. She's putting on a good act in front of everyone else, as good as she can, but she hasn't done so well being cooped up under the mountain.

Nightmares, screams jolted her out of slumber just as soon as she'd managed to steal a few moments of peace. Cam had spent hours laying there, knowing she didn't want to be touched, unsure of what to do. She hadn't wanted him to leave, though, and that was something.

Her head falls to his shoulder and he shifts her gingerly, lifts up the armrest and lets her resettle against him more solidly. She snuffles in her sleep and rubs her cheek against his shirt.

*

She's almost childlike as they make their way through the airport. He keeps her hand in his and she follows him. He feels at a loss without her constant curiosity, her wandering eyes and feet. She's too still right now.

He tries to offer her candy, asks her if she wants food, a drink, anything. She just shakes her head. Vala, not wanting - not taking. Just too damn weird. He doesn't like it one bit.

*

He rents a car at the airport and packs her into it, driving down familiar streets until town gives way into wider open spaces. He starts to breathe easier. His mother is waiting on the porch for them, walking out to grasp Vala by the shoulders and give her a hug. Cam leans back against the car and smiles. This is better, this is good.

He barely sees her the rest of that afternoon. His mother rushes her off and he's not sure exactly what they're doing behind closed doors, but by dusk his mother emerges and says that Vala's asleep and they should probably let her be.

He doesn't know how much Vala's told his mother, and he doesn't care. His parents aren't cleared for anything, and there's a lot he thinks he wouldn't want them to know but he trusts Vala with this. She needs someone to talk to - someone that wasn't there, that didn't see her like that. Not Sam; Sam can't be her friend and Colonel Carter at the same time. Not Daniel, not Teal'c, not even Cam. This safe haven is the most that Cam can offer her outside of that circle.

He hopes that it's enough.

*

He's not sure if he should let her sleep it out on her own or not, so he half-heartedly settles onto the couch. He can't sleep though and it's past midnight when he hears creaking footsteps on the stairs.

Vala's found something to wear, probably his mother's. He's never actually packed for someone else before. Did he even remember to bring her pajamas? Doesn't matter, really. If she needs anything, they can go to town and buy it.

She gives him a smile, tired still despite her hours of sleep, and drops down onto the couch beside him without saying anything. She burrows against him, nuzzling her way in until he lifts his arm and wraps his around her. She sighs, and tips her head up to kiss his neck. "I slept."

"I can tell." He reaches up to smooth down her bedhead. Her hair is taking on more of a curl with the humidity and the time it's been since she's had a proper shower. It's cute, though. He likes it. He kisses her on the forehead. "Feel better?"

She makes a non-committal noise, but even the fact that she's answering him is sort of a yes. She hadn't before, just looked away in the face of his questions.

"Feel hungry?" He tries again. That one gets a nod.

*

"Omelets are best at two in the morning," Cam says. "And that's just a fact."

She's sitting on one of the bar-stools, arms crossed over the counter top as she watches him cook.

He grabs a beer out of the fridge. This is how his father always made him. "As a kid - ten, twelve years old, this was the coolest thing in the world. Beer omelets."

"Beer?" She gives him a curious look.

"Yep." He cracks open the bottle with the opener stuck onto the fridge, and drizzles fizzy alcohol into the egg mixture. As he cooks, he holds up ingredients for her to approve or disapprove of. She doesn't recognize some of them, her exposure to earth food still mostly relegated to the already prepared meals in the mess. He cuts bits of cheese and onion for her to taste, and gives her the rest of the beer left in the bottle.

He plates the omelet and slides it in front of her, a fork for her and one for himself. She eats most of it, the most he's seen her ingest since coming back.

Afterward, she's full and sleepy again. "Are you staying down here?"

"You want me to?" He tries to make it clear that if she does, he'll be fine, but she shakes her head.

"The couch is uncomfortable," she says, by way of explanation.

In his childhood bedroom with the lights off, she's less sure of herself. He does his best to take up less room while she edges on the far side of the mattress. He doesn't try to touch her.

*

She's up before him in the morning, sitting in the kitchen with his mother. They're at the table, talking closely, and when Vala sees him walk in she actually smiles. He leans down and kisses his mother's cheek, then turns and kisses Vala's mouth. His fingers sink into her hair, stroking.

"Thought I might give Darryl a call, see what he's doing," Cam says, sliding backwards onto one of the chairs.

"Cameron," Wendy tuts.

"Yes, mother." He gets up and sits right, making a face.

Wendy gets up and gathers Vala's empty plate, remnants of breakfast on it. He turns and peers over at the table, trying to see if there's any left.

"Vala's coming with me," Wendy says. "We're going to do a little bit of shopping and then I've got one of my book meetings."

"Son, I think they're trying to tell you they don't need you around," Frank says, clapping a hand on Cam's shoulder as he walks in. He takes his seat at the table. Wendy smiles at him and moves toward the kitchen. Cam looks to Vala, and Vala is watching his mother.

*

He spends his afternoon with Darryl. This trip is for Vala, but Cam won't turn down the chance to relax a little bit himself. He doesn't realize until he's three beers in how much he needed this. Lunch turns into a trip to the hardware store, back to Darryl's to see if Cam can tinker with his broken generator, a game on tv and hours slip by. It's almost dark when he heads home.

Vala's sitting on the porch, her legs tucked underneath her. She gets up when she sees him pulling into the driveway, walks to him and puts her arms around him. He stands there holding her, hugging her, wondering what happened for him to get this sort of reception.

She sighs and puts her head on his shoulder, not saying anything. His fingers smooth down her hair and she shifts, nestles against him. "I had a lovely day with your mother."

"I'm glad," he pulls back to kiss her. They don't do that often - just kissing. It's sex, and it's companionship, but it's never quite been a relationship and Vala's so different from every other girl, he's never been sure how to bridge that gap.

Maybe, though, the way she's looking at him now... maybe.

*

He gets a call from Walter. They've been in Kansas for three days.

"Tell him a few more days," Cam says, because Vala's better but she's not Vala yet. He doesn't want to leave until he thinks this has done some lasting good.

*

On the fifth day, he takes her to his favorite watering hole for dinner. His mother fusses over them, his father tells him to treat his date right. Vala preens, and that makes him smile more than anything.

He doesn't ask her if she wants to talk about it. He's not even sure if he wants to hear about it yet. He saw the bruises and the blood and the broken look in her eyes. He also knows enough about her to know that the bruises and the blood aren't what put that look there. There was more, things she'll probably never tell him, that he'll certainly never understand.

She's got makeup on, her hair brushed and pulled back, pink gloss on her lips. She sits closer to him, touches him frequently, doesn't want to get too far away still. He's not sure if the drinks are a good idea or not but he can't tell her no right now. When she kisses him outside, he lets her. When she pulls him into the car, he responds with zealousness, his body wanting even when his mind says that it might not be a good idea.

She starts to cry when he's inside of her and he stops moving, stops kissing her. She protests, finds his mouth and gives him a damp, salty kiss. "Vala," he says, "I don't know what you need."

"Yes, you do," she says, and her fingers tighten on his shoulders, dig into his skin through the shirt they hadn't even bothered to take off. "Cameron."

He starts to move again, slow and steady.

*

After a week he says to her, "We've gotta fly back tomorrow."

Landry won't take no for an answer any more. Cam's lucky he gave them this long. He'd expected two days, three. Even after talking to Walter, he still hadn't expected.

She frowns, sulks up and then walks out of the room.

Wendy comes to find him a few minutes later. "Cameron? Something you want to tell me?"

"We've gotta go home, momma," he sighs. Her expression turns from suspicious to sympathetic.

"She couldn't stay for just a while longer? You can go back. Surely accounts receivable can manage without her."

Cam gives her a wry smile. "Mother."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Cameron. Those aren't papercuts that poor girl has." His mother's look is hard, unconvinced. He remembers being a kid, thinking he could fly, taking a hard fall off of the roof. The way she'd seemed so unsympathetic while she poured the iodine over his cuts, and then the way she'd made him ice cream and fixed him up in front of the television with a cartoon on afterward.

Vala would probably like cartoons. She'd definitely like ice cream. He'll have to try that, next time.

"I try to take care of her," he sighs, leaning forward, burying his face in his hands. "Even when I shouldn't. I'm not supposed to want to keep her more safe than anyone else."

"Maybe you shouldn't be in the position where you have to choose," Wendy says, putting a hand on Cam's shoulder.

He just shakes his head. He can't explain. How would he even begin? What she knows, what she thinks, can't be within a stone's throw of the truth.

"Well, fine. You both keep your secrets. But Cameron, you love that girl, you need to do something about it. And if you need to talk to me or your father about anything..."

He leans over and hugs his mother. "I know, Momma."

"Just remember. You can come home any time, sweetheart." She kisses him on the top of his head. "And so can she."

*

Vala's curled up on his bed when he goes to find her.

He's sure that she knows that he's standing there, but she doesn't say anything to him. He loves the way her hair fans out around the pillow, and takes a moment just to admire it before he speaks.

"Mad at me?" He asks, standing in the doorway.

She shakes her head and holds out a hand, eyes locking onto his. He takes the hand and lets her tug him down.

When he's sitting, she puts her head in his lap. He plays with her hair, strokes it away from her neck and then digs his fingers into her shoulders. She sighs and loosens against him, rubs her nose against his thigh. "I don't want to go back underground."

"I know," he says. There's nothing to add. He can't tell her that she doesn't have to. Her options are stay at the SGC or leave earth. She could disappear into the throngs of the human race, sure, but Cam can't encourage that. Can't, wouldn't want to. For better or worse, he wants her nearby. He has to offer her something, some incentive. "We can come back."

"How often?"

"Holidays. Leave." He tries to think. "As often as we can."

Which won't be with any regularity. SG-1 is a full time job. You don't take long weekends when you're supposed to be saving the world.

*

Back at the airport. He turns in the car, and then spends ten minutes arguing with her about which direction they're supposed to go in. She pouts and fusses at him, and the warmth of contentment floods through him.


End file.
